In order to do this peice ample justice, the Concert must be made of vocal and instrumental Music. Let it be performed in the following manner, viz. Let an ass bray the Bass, let the fileing of a saw carry the Tenor, let a hog who is extream hungry squeal the Counter, and let a cart-wheel, which is heavy loaded, and that has been long without grease, squeek the Treble ; and if the Concert should appear to be too feeble you may add the cracking of a crow, the howling of a dog, the squalling of a cat ; and what would grace the Concert yet more, would be the rubbing of a wet finger upon a window glass, This last mentioned instrument no sooner salutes the drum of the ear, but it instantly conveys the sentations to the teeth; and if all these in conjunction should not reach the cause you may add the most inharmonical of all sounds, “pay me that thou owest.”
-- William Billings
Play-along files synthesized and contributed by Roy Sansom. Accompaniments are at 4' and 8' pitch.